( for a long time it's just the unsteadiness of four's inhales and exhales. he spirals.
the rare memory not taken from him: being pulled into operation.
another: instructions like a recipe for a slow acting poison, administered as hands and machines interchanged to make his body and face perfect.
"don't forget. you are not the real elan ceres. fulfill your role. that is all."
there's a dull ringing in his head.
"do you like her, the mercury witch? no, wait, do you think she could like you?" the original's laughter becomes that dull ringing. it was, of course, foolish of four to not take into account that peil has ears and eyes everywhere, especially the caged heir. what had he said to him? suletta mercury. nier. that's right. they can't care. and they shouldn't. he's empty. that's right.
that's right.
his hands bleed where the fingernails cut into his palms.
shakily, )
It...doesn't matter.
( after he returns to peil for another round of tests, there are serial duels with students he's apparently offended by being rude or cold or both, "too good for us", and "thinks he's so great" are favorites, apparently. his interest in suletta mercury hasn't helped but in this case he truly doesn't care. he has to understand. if she's like him.
nier presents a different problem, one that four cannot look at directly.
the second he accepts his care, he's sure it will be taken away.
"do you think you deserve kindness? leeway? you must be joking. you had nothing to begin with. it's what you all have in common. why else would you be here?"
the room he woke up in after the operation was cold. many bodies all looking like him looking like them, rose to consciousness. some whispered. some were sick. four was quiet.
no subject
the rare memory not taken from him: being pulled into operation.
another: instructions like a recipe for a slow acting poison, administered as hands and machines interchanged to make his body and face perfect.
"don't forget. you are not the real elan ceres. fulfill your role. that is all."
there's a dull ringing in his head.
"do you like her, the mercury witch? no, wait, do you think she could like you?" the original's laughter becomes that dull ringing. it was, of course, foolish of four to not take into account that peil has ears and eyes everywhere, especially the caged heir. what had he said to him? suletta mercury. nier. that's right. they can't care. and they shouldn't. he's empty. that's right.
that's right.
his hands bleed where the fingernails cut into his palms.
shakily, )
It...doesn't matter.
( after he returns to peil for another round of tests, there are serial duels with students he's apparently offended by being rude or cold or both, "too good for us", and "thinks he's so great" are favorites, apparently. his interest in suletta mercury hasn't helped but in this case he truly doesn't care. he has to understand. if she's like him.
nier presents a different problem, one that four cannot look at directly.
the second he accepts his care, he's sure it will be taken away.
"do you think you deserve kindness? leeway? you must be joking. you had nothing to begin with. it's what you all have in common. why else would you be here?"
the room he woke up in after the operation was cold. many bodies all looking like him looking like them, rose to consciousness. some whispered. some were sick. four was quiet.
always quiet. )